Why do I use the name dorje shugden when others won’t?

After several years of praying to the spirit with a secretive cult of 200 (at that time, less than 50 now), I have come to the conclusion that dorje shugden is gone.I have never seen anything come of his practice either positive or negative except the negative psychological effect on the people practicing. What effects have I noticed exactly?

1) A lack of inhibition to attack people in private.
2) Anxiety.
3) Obsessive sectarianism.
4) A loss of inhibition to lie.
5) Smugness and confrontationality.
6) General loss of conscience.
7) Paranoia.

When I began worshiping the spirit I didn’t notice the changes that took place in me. It was only after I was separated from the cult that I noticed the radical personality change that had occurred. I don’t chalk this up entirely to the practice itself. Some of it is due directly to the emotionally manipulative culture of shugden groups and the emphasis on both fighting other schools of thought and keeping up the appearance of “love and peace” for the cult.

In my shugden cult our main focus was coming up with ways to get rid of Nyingma and Kagyu Buddhism, and making mainstream Geluk incorporate shugden as its principle practice. For that we knew we needed to hoard money and so we kept our motives secret from donors while emphasizing disingenuous “respect” for the Dalai Lama. Certainly it should be clear at this point that Buddhism was just a facade for a prolific hate group.

I am not convinced there is any power in the shugden practice now. The only effects seem to be due to the social poison of the people practicing and the propaganda nature of the practice.

I sleep easy and some nights I think about how shugden would have felt about pathetic immature people praying to him, lying to everyone, and selling cheap trinkets online to support their pseudo dharma organization. He would hate them more than anyone else for corrupting and twisting Geluk teachings.

What is more damaging to Geluk?
Multi-school practitioners or personality cults removing 99% of the teachings because they don’t support cult mentality?

*Note: To protect this repository from the legal abuse employed by some cults using copyright and defamation law to silence critics, the names of the organizations, members, locations, copyrighted controversial teachings and practices have been changed. Despite this concession, I am confident such a lawsuit would be answered with self incrimination charges because of the level of documentation within the collection and the assurances of unlimited legal support from victims and their families. If an account or letter has already been published elsewhere and I have received the author or representative’s permission, it may re-appear here with details altered. Anyone can volunteer information and documentation.

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